Ben Affleck has had a long and storied Hollywood career full of everything from cult classics and Oscar bait to disposable box office trash. One day he’s starring as Daredevil in one of the worst comic book movies ever, the next he’s directing Best Picture winner Argo. What does he consider his greatest creative achievement so far? Possibly his vicious Criterion DVD commentary for Armageddon.
“In retrospect, now, I feel like maybe my best work in my career is the commentary on this disc,” he said during a recent Criterion Closet video to promote the arrival of his latest quiet-guy-turned-human-weapon action thriller, The Accountant 2. The DVD extras on the Criterion release for the 1998 Michael Bay disaster flick include a commentary track which features Affleck ripping the movie apart for its silly premise and well-worn clichés.
“People approach me to talk about the commentary in this disc as much as they do movies that I’ve been in,” he says in the new video. “And it’s because I didn’t know any better than to be really honest. But I won’t spoil it for those of you who are interested. It is an achievement that I feel proud of and didn’t intend to be as good as I now think it is at the time. Criterion, when is the 4K coming out?”
Armageddon stars Bruce Willis as the head of a crew of oil rig workers who need to land on an asteroid and drill it so it breaks up before hitting Earth and causing the extinction of humanity, a premise Affleck mercilessly mocks in his commentary on the Criterion disc. The former Batman actor, who plays a cocky upstart that’s dating Willis’ daughter (Liv Tyler) in the movie, says during the voiceover that he frequently complained to Bay about the story.
“I asked Michael why it was easier to train oil drillers to become astronauts than it was to train astronauts to become oil drillers, and he told me to shut the fuck up,” Affleck says in the commentary, which is so irreverent that people often wondering if he might have been drunk. “So that was the end of that talk. [Affleck does a Michael Bay voice] ‘You know, Ben, just shut up, OK? You know, this is a real plan.’ I was like, ‘You mean it’s a real plan at NASA to train oil drillers?’ And he was like, ‘Just shut your mouth!’”
The actor’s rant continues. “One whole week? Now you know how to fly into space? ‘I need my guys!’ ‘Why do you need your guys?’ ‘They’re the best!’ Everyone’s the best,” Affleck says while laughing during the commentary in a scene starring Bruce Willis. “‘Why are they the best?’ ‘Well, they just are!’”
This isn’t the first time Affleck has weighed in on the hidden performance that frequently goes viral online. He told GQ in a profile last month that no one from the movie studio or production team ever complained. “I don’t think any of the other people listened to it or gave a fuck until years later when it was played,” he said, adding that he later felt “kind of shocked and appalled” about it. “You’re not supposed to go on there and tell all of the truth,” he told GQ. Now if only someone could unearth a long-lost Affleck commentary for Gigli.
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